Ach!

After a very busy week at work, I took advantage of today's sun and went up to the pass. Partnerless, I went bouldering. Considering my history with this particular sport, it probably wasn't the best idea. In fact, I would have preferred soloing on the sopping cliffs that greeted me as I drove through Nantperis.
I had a go on the only dry-ish problem on the Utopia boulder, this being my old nemesis: Utopia Lefthand. For some reason this niggling problem has always got the better of me, and today was no exception. Grimy rock and damp air just added to my frustrations.

My mind drifted back to last weeks success, as my mossy, greased up fingers slipped off the deadpoint move for the nth time. I was in the quarry -as usual- and Ian sent me up some routes on the Never Never Land slab. A magnificent piece of wall I'd never had the pleasure of climbing on until that day. Had an onsight attempt of Scheherazade, a route I'd been wanting to do for a while. Thanks to the dire topo in the guidebook, I got sent up the wrong direction and ended up peeling off, about a metre right of the low crux move. Trying not to become too disillusioned, I set up an easy route directly to the left of us called "362", a pleasant F5+ with large sloping ledges on solid rock. Threaded the rope through Scheherezade's lower off and had a quick top rope. Got it in one so had a go on the lead. Popped off the easier moves on the first go, but got it on the second try. Well chuffed! It was nice to get back on to 6b moves and technical rockovers. Shame about the jelly leg that reared its ugly head as I was doing a 5a move (whats that all about?!). Then I went up to have a go on Watch Me Wallaby Wank Frank, another route thats been on my radar for years. Given an E4 6a grade, I was quite confident I could onsight it, despite not having tried onsighting any trad of this grade for a while. Started up it, with very easy climbing. The supposed crux is passing the first bolt, so as I passed the first and second bolts with ease, I wondered when the crux might show up. The same with the climbing after the third bolt: "Either finish direct up to the left (precarious) or follow the arete (easier)". The climbing on both parts looked straightforward, so to challenge myself, I went up the 'hard' bit. It's not often one would go up the harder bit on an E4 and I took myself by surprise! But by the end, I was wondering how the grade has stood over the years. E2/3 5b/c. Good climbing but a bit of a letdown. Still, another E4 onsight under my belt and an E7 tick from the previous month. Progression, onwards and upwards from here, I thought to myself.

Which brings me back to earlier on today. More specifically, me trudging down from Wavelength after managing to do absolutely no moves on King of Drunks. Absolutely gopping it was, with every drop of water coming from the holds and dropping down my neck quickly destroying any sanity or self control I had left. Ended up having an Ondra and throwing my shit all over the place. Sadly this embarrasing fit of rage didn't make me climb like him. I'm trying to convince myself I was only having a very rare bad day, and that the conditions were bad and this was my first bouldering outing of the year etc etc. Not taking any of my bullshit excuses. I've got to get better and stop pussyfooting around.
But I can't put into words how much I hate and despise bouldering. Mundane, short and stupid. It's not like a 15-20-30+ metre route, where you can get immersed into the climbing, and get into that state of mind that really drew me into climbing. Bouldering is just annoying, and something to do when I'm climbing steep 8a onwards. And luckily, at the rate I'm going, it won't be for some time.

So two contrasting days out, two contrasting disciplines, two very different results and plenty to mull over. One important question I have to ask myself is "What the hell am I going to do tomorrow, without a partner?". I'll go bouldering. But I won't enjoy it. Ach!

This week, I 'ave mostly been eatin' rabbits

Managed to get a video of the *ahem* historic ascent. Misses the top out and it's badly edited etc, who cares, I don't.

Had a go on Windows of Perception aka "The hardest rockover in the world". Sums it up nicely, really. Watched Hard XS with Pete Bobbins and Nic Sellars, and it really got me psyched for the routes they were on. Bobbys groove, Windows, gerbil abuse, dark half, slipstream and Gin Palace of course.

Have been trying to get a bit of variety into my climbing (went bouldering and anything past vertical is impossible) so need to start doing some climbing in the pass and tremadog. All this slate may suit me, but it's going to be detrimental where my SPA logbook is concerned.

Watched bits of Onsight as well (the routes I'm not planning to onsight (my, I do have high expectations of myself)), was great. Got me thinking about my headpoint. Yeah, got it lead, but it did feel like a bit of a cop out. I had memorised all the moves, and there was no real danger or even over exuberance when I topped out. I was probably buzzing more when I onsighted E4. I think my next big route will be an onsight attempt, or a ground up at least.

That's my mind emptied of musing from the past few days. Now to enjoy the rugby.

I've also bought a RURP, oh dear.

A bad week

Had a bad week. Haven't felt like doing anything. Went for an interview in Plas-y-Brenin for the centre assistant job, really wanted it, and nailed it (or so I thought). Phoned parents to tell them how it went, and got told my taid had died that morning.

I got a call from PYB today who told me I didn't get the job because I wasn't experienced 'all-round'. Fuckety Fuck. So back to the drawing board to see what I can improve on by November when I can apply again. I've had a look at sea kayaks. Shame they're a tad expensive but I think it's something I'll enjoy.

Went to the quarry with Ian today as well. Held his ropes, but felt like crap and didn't have the mynadd to climb anything. No idea how long it'll last but for now I just don't give a rats arse.

My Halo

Done!

Well, that went smoothly. Much better than I expected. I could have done it a few days earlier, but in the end I'm glad I waited until today. Skin had grown back, and I was more determined this time round to climb it. I had a couple of top ropes, with less disco leg than a dead Elvis. Compare this to friday (or at least I think it was) where I was shaking like hell, couldn't remember a single move and was frozen. Ian led it that day after 1 fall onto the RP3 which stayed put and every skyhook he placed fell off as soon as he passed them!
I led it on the first attempt at the lead, although I shouldn't be surprised as I had prepared properly for the headpoint. My internal monologue went something like this: "I'm going to climb this, I'm going to climb this", which really helped. Not once did I think about falling or the consequences and by the time I'd passed the crux, leaving me with one thin move and easy climbing to the top, I'd relaxed quite a bit and was feeling quite chatty and jolly, and not once did I think "Oh god, what the hell am I doing on an E7? I'm totally out of my depth" etc etc.
I think I can take quite a lot out of this success. For one thing, I've only been climbing on a regular basis since April last year and already I'm up to E7. I'm not saying I'm a competent E7 climber. Or even an E5-6 comfortable leader ( both grades I'm yet to climb). But climbed an E7 I have. What takes most people years to complete has taken me just 10 months. Do I have a right to brag? Or am I pushing the grade far too early and going to end up killing myself or injuring myself on something I'm completely out of my depth on? But I'm pretty confident I know my limits at this point. I'm in no hurry to prove myself or push myself too early. Mentally, I already feel more confident. The pysche I've been looking for is back! I would definitely recommend the "I'm going to climb this" chant inside your head. I think I'll be adopting this on future redpoints and onsights.

So what next? I've already reached one of my goals (17 days into the year!). Do I now abandon building on this milestone and start working on the other goals I've set myself? Or do I go ahead with this confidence and my ability and try some other projects? Dawes of Perception, Raped by Affection come to mind. Both E7 6c, both a technical grade harder than My Halo, and just as badly protected. Maybe I should just throw a rope down them and see how I feel. It's still slate season, so I can put my mind to either building on E7 or going for an E6 onsight. I feel confident enough in my abilities to do both. The sport goals might have to wait until it gets warmer and drier.

Another bit of good news is that I've got an interview with Plas y Brenin for the Centre Assistant job. Should have had an email confirming it before christmas but had nothing. I gave up hope until I got a call today saying I've got an interview on wednesday. Not much time to prepare! So obviously, the best way I can prepare is to go climbing so thats my plan for tomorrow. Also my axes are due tomorrow. Bring on the scottish winter OCH AYE!

"Sunny Intervals"

That was the weather forecast for today. No rain at all. Yet it's been raining since yesterday night. What gives, BBC? It was exactly the same last thursday. Groundhog day.
Got up, psyched as hell, going to the quarry for a go on My Halo, maybe even a cheeky headpoint to get a good start to the year. Was supposed to be in bus stop by 10, got moved to 11 to let it dry off a bit and let the weather clear. BBC weather still saying it was clear. Went up there; grey clouds, no rain. Unpacked, started walking, no rain.
As soon as we were in view of the quarry it started pissing it down. Just like last week. It was an instant psyche killer. Still, we percevered and I managed to check out the gear placements: a dodgy RP3 and a couple of skyhooks that'll get in the way. Still no real climbing done in 2011. Bugger.

The weather being a complete twat

Post, the first.

So here I am, taking the plunge with a new blog. I've been toying with starting one for a while, mainly to motivate myself after a mixed 2010. And what better time to start something new than the new year? So here it is. I should probably explain what brought me to the decision of starting a blog:

2010 was an interesting year for me. After trying in the past to climb regularly, the usual setbacks reared their heads. Recurring injuries, lack of partners, work, weather, depression, exams and confidence all played their part in annoying the hell out of me and stopping my meteoric rise through the grades. I thought I would never get to climb on a regular basis, and constant reading of UKC forums and scanning of the photos merely cemented the fact that I was lacking in the motivation/confidence compared to even the most armchair of climbers. A chance opportunity to climb with a knowledgeable climbing partner saw me regain some of my former glory (that being flashing 6c+s at the wall without any effort) albeit only slightly.

Another lucky chance came by again in April, responding to a 'partner needed' post on UKC saw me climb again in the Dinorwic quarry, with a climbing coach no less! What was once a distant dream, suddenly became reality as I climbed my first 7a, and another straight after. Ecstatic could only begin to describe how I felt as I was moving again on rock, scrabbling and puffing my way up the slab yes, but it was a start. Thus began a good few months of climbing and steadily building experience, confidence and a pile of equipment. I climbed on the Great Orme, Tremadog, Moelwyns, Holyhead Mountain, Rhoscolyn, Dinas Rock, Benllech, Almscliff and a lot in the quarry. I decided I'd set some quite high goals for myself, high, in the context that I had only been climbing for a month or two. I don't know whether I knew I would succeed at that time or not, but lifted by the recent success in the quarries I decided they were attainable.

And lo and behold, December 2010 finished and I had unbelievably notched up some (if i say so myself) impressive numbers for someone of my experience in the climbing world. I also managed a 50 mile ultramarathon without any training. So a success, yes, but sitting here I can't help but think that I could have made more of my year. Was my heart completely into my climbing? Probably not. Did I make enough effort when I was climbing? No. My work rate has been woeful, and was even pointed out to me. I knew in the back of my mind that I wasn't going at it the way a fanatic climber keen on improvement would be, but even now I don't know why I refused that second top rope or why I declined a chance to climb a certain route with no real excuse not to. I of course regret it now, but what good does that do? Could I be climbing harder than I am if I had put that extra 10% in? Definitely. So 2010 has left me with a quite a few negatives, that have made me wonder if my heart is really in my climbing. But I can also take a few positives from the past year.

I made an active effort to climb more, mostly thanks to my climbing partners, but of course I've got to take some credit. I achieved my goals of climbing E4, 7a and V5. I enjoyed every minute of it. I was having a massive crisis before my trip to Antalya. I thought I wasn't good enough; that I would fail miserably and people would look down on me and that I should just give up on getting better at climbing. It hampered me in my first few days, where I climbed a few routes but kept making up excuses not to climb that one extra route of the day. My climbing partner Ian, then pointed out my problems. One of them being my work rate. I was quite embarrassed, but he was right. I decided to work on this and ended up onsighting a 7a! Credit to Ian there. Clipping that lower off was the boost I needed to get my mind and my climbing back on track.

And that is the reason for my blog. To document my progress and to keep the psyche high. Documenting my goals and my weaknesses for all to see will hoepfully keep me going from the 1st of January 2011 onwards and upwards. It will also get me out running and walking so I'll actually have something to write about when I don't climb. This blog is for me, but I'll try to make it interesting in case anyone does come across it. Hopefully you didn't find this too waffling but I just needed to get that out of the way.